Marriage is a sacred commitment that should never be entered into lightly or on a whim or, even worse, on a dare. By pledging your love and loyalty to another human being you are assuming the responsibility of that person’s life as they are assuming the responsibility for yours. But that doesn’t mean that a wedding has to be done according to anybody else’s wishes and desires but those of the bride and groom.
A wedding day should be one of the days that will stand out forever in a bride’s and groom’s memories as a day of joy and happiness and one that belongs uniquely to the bridal couple. It should be THIER day…and not just on the day of the wedding but for their lifetime together.
The marriage ceremony, whether it is a first wedding or a subsequent wedding, really does signify the leaving behind of the old life and the beginning of a new life as a couple so it should incorporate everything that makes that change seem real and valid to the couple that is marrying. What others think doesn’t really matter. The mother and the father of both the bride and the groom are about to become in-laws. Disagreements about the details of the wedding can start those relationships off on the wrong foot and be the basis for a thousand other little
problems for many years to come.
At a 50th wedding anniversary celebration that I attended recently, I had the opportunity to ask the long-married couple what the secret was to their long and obviously successful relationship.
The gentleman looked me in the eye and told me that I wasn’t the first person to ask that question and that he had been giving it some serious thought. He said that he might have a few answers.
He said, “When we got married back in ’56 the world was a lot different. We expected that we would stay married all of our lives. Getting divorced was a shameful thing. So we talked it over and we agreed that we would never let the sun set on hurt feelings or anger between us. It’s a lot easier to make up at night than it is over the breakfast table. And we agreed to never raise our voices to each other unless the house was on fire. I guess that’s about it”, he continued,
“except that we just deal with all the little things as they come up and don’t let molehills get as big as mountains before we talk them over.”
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